I get angry at sexists, yo.

Facking little sexist: Bungee My Life: Some dumb shit about first year relationships and sex.

Hi Starfish!

You're touching on something that I know means to a lot of people, but let's be honest here: you're letting your experiences overflow into your perceptions of other people, and you are making quite a few really offensive generalisations.

Firstly, your hypothesis that sex is the "only" thing that keeps first year relationships together is completely preposterous. Sexual attraction is an integral part of any relationship, yes, but you have to be a fricking tool to think that first years think that "sex is the glue that can fix any broken relationship." I've been in a relationship all of this year, and sex does not fix anything. If anything, sex only exacerbates emotional problems in relationships, and I am happy to see that you acknowledge that at the end of your post. Relationships that are held together by sex do not last long, and I have friends with divorced parents who can vouch for that.

You also state that "out of the hundreds of couples that existed at the beginning of the year only a handful remain" now. Well dude, what do you expect? Most relationships don't last longer than a few months, or a few dates. That is, unfortunately, the nature of relationships (sexual or non-sexual) in the Western world. To think that all of the relationships that started at the beginning of the year would still be around now is naïve to the n-th degree.

Finally, you say that what hurts you most is that it is often the girl is the heartbroken party: "Seemingly to a girl sex is about commitment but to a guy it’s all about the here and now." What kind of sexism are you spouting here? Women are sexual creatures too, they lust, they get horny, so it's ridiculous to say that all women believe sex to be about commitment all of the time. Conversely, many men, myself included, believe sex to be a huge act of commitment on their part, and to infer otherwise is hugely offensive to all men. Also, what about homosexual relationships? If two men initiate a relationship, are they not capable of expressing commitment to one another, or are they just doomed to fornicate "in the here and now"?

I personally agree with your saying that one shouldn't get into a relationship unless there is a mutual benefit and understanding between the two parties. The reasons for your decision, however, are highly stereotypical, incorrect and offensive to both men and women. Your post is a product of misguided attempts to express emotional and sexual frustration, and just comes off as ill-reasoned and, quite frankly, immature.

Nich Mulgrew

Loves and happiness.


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