The Rat - it's evil!

I have figured it out! I'm a genius!

I have figured out the source of all Rhodes student problems. It is simply The Rat! It must have some sinister spirit that is attempting to take over the world, because its evilness has imprisoned us all whether we like or not. What I mean to say is, The Rat and Parrot has become the ground on which we stand, the air in which we breath. It is the sun that burns us, the bus that transports us, the wooden spoon that slaps us, the food that sustains us, the water that revitalizes us (ok I'll stop the lame metaphors now).

Quite simply, The Rat is everything! Where would we be without the rat? Right now tuts from all different departments from all different years are rendezvousing at the Rat for their last session? Why would we do this? It's less than two weeks before exams - what on earth could compel us to go drinking now? I'll tell you why. It's the damn Rat and Parrot that's why! It's evil. It draws us in like a moth to the flame.

When we go out on the busy nights on Wednesday or Friday, where do most of us end up despite of the rock solid knowledge that it will be too packed to even breath and there is really no point going. We end up in a queue for who knows how long. When we eventually get up the stairs, we spend some time on the balcony, and then decide we're over rat and its time for Friars. So down the stairs we go, standing in a queue for who knows how long (again!!!).

My point, ultimately, is that there is a Rat and Parrot spirit in all of us, that is guiding is us when we go out, speaking to us during lectures, tormeting us with visions of a cold, oh so sweet cold, Hansa draughts. Beware all! It is out to get us all!

Hell I love the Rat!!



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